It must be so ridiculous to hope against hope. It must be so ridiculous to be me.

 

I had such a wonderful, awesome absolutely great day today....it was so much fun, and still, I feel that little bit of sadness somewhere, its akward, yeah....

 

Its so hard to wake up every morning and face the truth- that it'll never be the same again. But I put my faith in God. He changes it all.

Suck it up loser...this is life...

 

 

 

I am pissed. People suck. All of them!

 

I wake up almost every morning and wonder if I should fake sickness so that I don’t have to go through school or whatever else.

 

Its stupid, its crappy. And I hate physics.

 

Why don’t folks be a bit more…decent? Everything is just so weird and …abstract and vague…..

 

Whatever….to hell with all this. Why does it seem like every single senior in school got their high school transcript except me?

 

It was my own choice to make senior year as hectic as possible….so I guess its unfair to complain how hectic it is…..and I guess its not really bad…..im just irritated at myself.

 

I worry about the pace at which life moves

I am scared of not being able to catch up

If only I realize,

That I m already ahead of the race

Sigh, If only!

 

Im considering the possibility of getting a job…..a much better one than the last one….but im not sure yet and anyways, I don’t think it’ll happen till about January….but anyways, thas it frm me…I’ll start blogging in blogspot from this weekend. Aite.

I wish people wouldnt trust me so much that I am actually given a chance to misuse their trust. *sigh*

 

advice from history teacher "Stay away from boys"

 

advice from chemistry teacher "Dont fall in love. It stops you from being valedectorial" (heck, did i spell it right?)

 

What is with all these teachers? y'all think v out to fall head over heels in love with some dimwit? actually, yeah, most of us are...lol, but thats besides my point. Anyways

 

I messed up school today. Nitty is at her procrastinating best. yay!

 

 

to go or not to go? Rutger-Newark Garbha party this friday and Anita invited me. hmmm, gotta think about it. Saturday, I have choir practice at Divya's house. gotta c how this goes....why cant people just accept that I cant sing? why dont the just let me be...!!!!!!

 

What is with americans making stupid 'Indians and seven-eleven jokes" ?????

 

Psychology was so interesting...now its beginning to be such a bore....or like Mr. Surget says, "its not boring....you just THINK you'r bored" lol

 

I'll let you know whether or not I love calculus, depending on my tests score tomorrow...

 

yeah, and i decided not to get that shirt for the pep rally....I dont know, I just chickened out from buying it....for some reason, I have a feeling not too many of my classmates r gonna b decked up in their ;pep rally attire' or w/e

 

Thats all guys....actually thats not all....but commitments call....

 

I missed somebody today...it was just so stupid coz I have no idea where it came from or why it came...but at some point ( i THINK IT WAS THE HEAT IN mR. tOMAN'S CLASS) I had the heavy realization that I missed that somebody...like i said, it was wierd

 

but anyways.......Nitty be back later...u take your  care ( seriously, what IS with me?)

 

nitty

 

Have you ever woken up one morning and found yourself in an entirely new world….a world that you are so not accustomed to? Like say….u wake up in China? Or in some polar bear’s cave? Do you know what it feels like, to literally wake up to a completely new world…that’s just way different from what you lived all this time…?

 

Well, I don’t, and that’s not how I feel right now either. Ha-ha….Did I mislead you well enough? Hehe…. Of late, my behavior has changed so much; I think I have become pretty much of one of those annoying talk show entertainers. Seriously, people. I find myself talking constantly and there just seems to no stopping me. Do you think it’s all this work or pressure or whatever? On Thursday, I heard a piece of news that was just too good to be true. Now I wish I didn’t hear it, coz its been bugging me so long, I just cant believe how good it is….and I don’t really believe it might stay that good….and I haven’t told anybody about it because its just way too good to be true. Lol it has just been bursting in me, and I guess that’s why I am blogging about it right now.

 

You know what guys? Something is just not right. Or should I say, something is just not wrong. It feels like ages since my life has been so smooth. Ages since I have laughed and felt committed to something. What is it? I don’t know, and I don’t really care what it is. Hey you guys listened to the new Ricky martin song- ‘I don’t care’ ha-ha, he can’t title it anymore perfectly. Not that I don’t care…You guys know how concerned i try to be…  Well, you know what I realized….I am such a fake person. Seriously. I ‘try’ to be so many things…. Nothing I do is actually from the bottom of my heart. I don’t know if it’s what I realized or what people tell me. Aarghh, doesn’t it make you mad? What people tell you….Lol.

 

 

Yesterday, I was in school from six till nine in the evening……making posters. It was fun; all of us were lying on our stomachs and making some really hot posters. Some of you are so lucky, you get to walk into school the day after tomorrow and see some great works of art painted by ‘Moi’. The others, well, let me try to get help for you. Lol…..SEE…! I told you, my sense of humor is going ways.

 

 

I have to write an essay about what my American dream is for history , an essay for dad and a presentation for my youth Christian group, due tomorrow. That is besides the calculus test and the twenty pages I have to read for psych. Fun fun fun…!!! yay

 

 

 Nitty

 

Guys.....I'm soo in Love with my life right now......

 

Ah, the pace at which its moving....Ah, the commitments I have....Ah, being around people who feel almost exactly the same way I do....I love it...I love it...I love it....

 

Okay, so much for sarcasm. Lol.

 

Heres what happened over the weekend- Saturday morning was a house warming party at a friend's place. Divya and this hot new guy whom I see way too much nowadays were there. Yay...I finally got introduced to the hot guy...lol. I chilled with Divya....lol, actually, the both of us were trying to avoid here sister...so we locked up one of the bedrooms and refused to open it even after people were knocking so hard. we finally opened it to find out, rather embaressed, it was the hostess who was knocking....lol. Anyways, I came back from there and then I played badminton with Rency for sometime in the park and then I went out with the fam.

 

Sunday was just so nice..lol...It was the Perunaal in my church...Perunaal is like this church festival that we celebrate with a procession in the street and stuff....Its usually pretty grand in India....It wasnt too much fun here....but It was a lot of fun...lol, I know, that makes a lot of sense doesnt it? Anyways, Mr. Hot guy was there....again...like I said, I see way too much of this guy. I found out he goes to college at rutgers and he just graduated last year. and he is a member of my church...! yay...lol, Okay, im overdoing it. All the girls in the church have a mad crush on him.....so its not like I have any chance with him...lol...okay okay, I'm jus kiddin....anyways, besides that, after perunaal celebrations and some great food, we took a lot of pictures coz everyone was so dressed up.  I have to develop the pics sometime soon..I'll prolly do it this weekend. So, watch out ppl....!!!

 

School is good. I'm lovin' it. (Okay, I stole the line frm the McDonald's ad). Wierd teachers, funny teachers, nice teachers, inaudible teachers, wierd kids, funny kids, nice kids, loud kids.......Homework, tests, quizzes, essays and of course making wierd noises in Spanish class. I think I'll go do some work now. Oh, and yeah, Friday is Pep rally in school...yay...06! I need to make my shirt....and I dont even have any time.....aarghh....friday evening is the charecter ed meetin in school, from 6 in the evenin till 8.30 in the night...thats right, imma b at school the whole day...yay...lol....I know its gonna be fun tho, makin posters and putin it around school.....hmm, anyways, I gtg now guys....I hope ur all having fun!

 

 Nitty

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!"
-William Wordsworth, The World is Too Much With Us

 

 

 

 

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainty that just to be alive is a grand thing. -Agatha Christie, An Autobiography, 1977   AH MAN, i love this line!   "Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." -Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yay…. I made it through the first day of school, and its been so  much better than last year…..yay! heres my schedule:-

 

 

We had the hour and a half long home room to begin with. I didn’t have to sit through all of it, coz I was part of the student voice committee that’s making presentations at the auditorium to the freshmen and sophomores today and the juniors and seniors tomorrow. Well, we made our freshmen presentation and they didn’t let us do the sophomore presentation because they were running behind schedule. So that was annoying….after that I came and sat in homeroom….this year we have a regular classroom for homeroom, unlike last year when we had the whole cafeteria to ourselves. Anyways, moving on to my classes

 

1. First period of the day was English with mrs Dillon. She seems nice…though she walks a bit shaky…lol, she told us ‘ Guys, im not drunk, I have multiple sclerosis’. Hmm, wow, sick teacher in the very first day of school. This class is full of wierdos including this guy with pink hair. Hehe…anyways
2. Second period was calculus, and it was one of the best classes of the day. I knew most of the kids in the class…..including Jeril, ying, heather, olu and Iffy…the teacher, Mr pettrozzino was quite nice, his voice was pretty inaudible though.
3. third was Honors Spanish-2….damn, the teacher, Mr. castanada is Hispanic and he can hardly speak any English…and most of the kids in the class were Hispanic too….i don’t know a single person in that class….theres just this one other Indian girl, and she doesn’t look too friendly…..lol
4. fourth was AP chem…..yay…mrs broyer again…I sat in the same seat I had last year…lol, and she was talking to us about her trip to Africa over the summer and how she got charged by an elephant…lol
5. fifth was health/chem. Practicals on Mondays and Fridays. Health is with mr kloc…..and I had him last year….so I know how damn funny he is. Its like the only class where I actually can chill…not that my other teachers aren’t funny enough…..anyways, health is with the same kids from AP chem….and I don’t really know most of them.
6. sixth was the best time of the day- yay! Lunch… Neethu, Sneha, Tohn, Jeril and Mani are in my lunch….lol, so it’s a lot of fun….or atleast, I hope it will be! We have our own little Indian table at the cafeteria now.
7. Seventh was AP Physics. Mr Toman is SO damn weird. But he is pretty funny, making all these corny jokes. Lol…that class is filled with all these smart-ass people, after a while of discussing past American supreme court judges and albert einsteins theory of relativity, the room got so hot!
8. ah, worst class of the day. Honors US-History 2 with Mr. Halbrook who has the reputation of being a complete asshole. He came in and kicked out about 10 kids who didn’t do their homework. Then he terrorized the rest of us who supposedly “did” it. Lol.He read my name and he was like….do You know ur named after a guy….i think it was some Bryan Nitty or someone….lol who was a gangster …Al Capone’s right hand man….hmmm, Nitty’s gangsta? lol Anyways, Alan was in my class….and this is the worst possible situation coz we kinda did half of each other’s homework. Anyways,Test tomorrow…! YES….A TEST ON THE SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL….how cool is that?
9. Another best class of the day….AP. Psychology with Mr.  Surget. He's reputed to be one of the best teachers in the school…and he was pretty cool. I know im gonna like this class….and im so glad its in the last. Lol

 

Well, that’s about it. I gotta rush right now, and study for that stupid test. I’ll cya guys later……damn, I haven’t even replied to any of the comments yet.!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

And thus, it came to an end. Yes, my last summer as a high school student. The end of the beginning of the end. Lol

 

Let me try to summarize what all I did this summer.

 

• First, and most important, I don’t think I have ever spent a single summer studying. This summer, I did quite a lot of studying and I finished
1. about 28 pages of chemistry problems ( the questions alone…I haven’t counted how many pages my answers came to)
2. research of about 150 people for U.S.History…actually, this is a lie, I did only about 65 people…the rest was done by my friend Alan…hehe
3. looked up and wrote down the definitions of over a hundred psychological terms and tried my best in explaining them in my own words. And researched ten famous psychologists.
4. calculus work…which looked so complicated…but was actually kinda easy once I got the hang of it
5. and the last and the easiest, physics…with about 15 silly-ass problems. Lol

 

• I worked at the dollar store for most of june and july…..and for about a half of august……and made some big bucks…..yeah baby! I actually kinda started enjoying work towards the end….especially because I started meeting new people, like the woman in Dunkin Donuts who gave me a discount because she recognized me…hehe
• I went to six flags two times over the summer. After the first time, I felt I didn’t have enough fun. But after the second trip, I have had enough…..lol, the first time, I was babysitting a few kids….and the second time, I waited in a line for 3.5 hours , got into 1 ride and lost my cell phone on the 40 second ride. Yes, the experience was bad
• I went to liberty science center with my friends and a few older people. It was a lot of fun!
• I chilled with my friends everyday in the evening, playing a lot of games. I kinda fell in love with badminton.
• I read a lot of books. Let me try to remember some:-
1. A separate peace by John Knowles
2. to kill a mockingbird by harper lee
3. God of small things by Arundathi Roy
4. Da vinci code by Dan Brown
5. Love story by Erich Segal
6. The color purple by
7. The eleventh Commandment by Jeffery Archer
8. AND OF COURSE, HARRY POTTER AND TH HALF BLOODED PRINCE!

 

• I stayed up late into the nights, chatting away with people….mainly bloggers
• I changed my blog three times!
• I made a whole new group of blog-friends
• I cut my hair really short
• Chilled with my cousin during the week he came over
• Cleaned out my closet
• Went on a picnic with my youth Christian group
• Wrote a few poems
• Danced like crazy and had a whole lot of mad fun at Sneha’s Bday party
• Had a lot of fun in the 2 + ‘1’ sleep over at Rency’s place. *wink* *wink*
• Stayed up a lot, chatting with mad people…..even during the mornings
• Procrastinated like crazy, putting off all my homework
• Went to ONE character ed meeting at school
• Tried to volunteer at a hospital and submitted all the required forms, but never got called.
• Did some shopping, chilled at the mall with Anita once
• Bought myself a purse-à trust me, I am not the kinda girl who walks around with a purse!
• Talked on the phone for hours together with people
• Watched a  LOT of movies!! Here are a few I can remember
1. Paheli
2. DDLJ
3. Qayamat Se Qayamat tAk
4. The Fantastic four-----saw this at the movie theatre with my friends…haha, we were the only people in the theatre!
5. The passion of the Christ ( At rency’s place during the sleepover)
6. Dus
7. Lucky
8. Pandi pada ( saw it at the theatre too…lol, drove over 70 miles to c that stupid movie)

• Did a lot of stupid things, regretted them….lol….
• Got myself a myspace and a hi5 account.
• BASICALLY, I CHILLED!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday, August 28, 2005 has been a simple, normal day in the life of Nitty Elizabeth K.

 

She woke up at around eight in the morning, threw out the garbage, dressed up for church and jumped into the car with her dad and sister and off she went to church. Church was nice. She liked the priests sermon today, which was about science and religion and she has come to the conclusion that god is in the mind and trying to prove his existence is mere stupidity.

 

After church, she went to a friend’s house. She fell in love with the house, especially the back yard which reminded her of India, with its jasmine flowers and other tropical plants. (p.s- Jasmine is her favorite flower!). after that, she came back home and since it was raining, the day seemed a bit drowsy. She cleaned up her closet and jumped into bed and fell asleep. She woke up, feeling even more drowsy and helped her eight grade friend with her English homework. After boring the poor kid to death, she went out for a walk with her dad and sister and helped herself to some nice, nice donuts. After that, she walked back and saw her neighbor’s two little kids, Abel and Bevan playing outside and she played with them for sometime. She bought Abel home and fell in love with the cute way he talked.

 

After that, she sat down with Meril Chechy and did some calculus homework and after a while they started scratching their heads. By that time, her mom came back from work and she said goodbye to Meril chechy and sat down for a nice, reheated supper with the family. She realized that if she doesn’t finish most of her homework by this week, she was going to be in big S***. So, here she is in front of the PC, trying to complete her HW, when she feels like writing her blog. The urge to write never leaves her; sometimes, it gets to be annoying, but then, whatever. Lol

 

You guys keep in touch….Im still around!!!

Nothing much happening right now. I went shopping yesterday. 10 more days till school starts. Life becomes hectic-er by the day. I have a lot of work to do. Clean my closets and fix all my clothes up there. I went shopping yesterday. I cant really type right now coz my right hand is kinda not okay right now. Its about time I get a new hair cut. I think I’ll be getting it cut this Tuesday. I finally finished my psychology work. I need to get working on history, physics , chemistry and calculus work now. So basically, that’s about it. I m pretty busy. You guys, keep in touch with me, mail me, comment in here or IM me….!!

What do you do

When insecurity overwhelms you,

When you think,

You lost everything?

 

You cry,

You feel bad

You focus your thoughts

On that one insecurity,

And it becomes

More miserable than ever.

 

But what do you do,

When that insecurity recurs,

When its déjà vu

Every other moment.

 

That’s when you find out

That the insecurity wasn’t real

That it was a mere façade

To the nothingness

Behind it all...

 

hehe, is this a sad poem? nah, its victorious....I SWEAR!

 

 

 

 

Today hasn’t been the best day of my life. In fact, it’s been anything but that. I think I am starting to worsen by the day. I got so many complaints about myself today!

 

I am the kinda person who does not accept what other people tell me about myself. I like to laugh it off. But today, it feels weird. ‘I don’t like to listen to what other people have to tell about me and I just like to do what I like’. Will you guys leave a comment, tell me if that’s true? I mean, think about it…is that really me?

 

I haven’t been a particularly responsible daughter either. My dad wants me to wear braces, and I really don’t want to. I mean, I have tried it before and if anything, the results have been nothing but disastrous. And my dad wanted me to come shopping. I didn’t go , coz first of all, I don’t enjoy shopping, and secondly, my mom wanted to cut her hair and I was afraid the temptation to cut mine was gonna be too strong if I go. So I didn’t go and now, everyone in the family is mad at me.

 

Third, two of my friends got mad at me. One said I am way too excited, and the other said I am too….conceited? Obsessed with myself? I can’t be all that can I?

 

I am going to six flags (it’s a theme park here in NJ) tomorrow, and I don’t feel all that excited about it right now. But anyways, I guess there's no way I can’t have fun there. I know I will….so I am jus gonna go out there and have some fun. I am a fighter remember?

 

That’s all from me for today. I think I’ll go watch Paheli right now!

You know, don't you?

That feeling of happiness,

Not ecstacy

Just sheer joy.

 

The feeling

That says, life cant be any better,

when you know, it can,

And it still Does'nt mater.

 

I feel like the leaf

On the Maple tree outside.

Bathed in the glory

Of the Summer Sunshine.

 

But i know I'm not,

Coz I have responsibilities

And people to love,

And people to care for.

 

I can't live like that leaf,

Just serving my purpose

And dying

Before I even know it.

 

I can't smile every moment,

Coz it would hurt.

And I can't cry either

Coz it serves no purpose.

But I can live,

Every moment

And make it count,

And be cherished.

 

I am happy today.

and even though I know

It is a moment that wont last,

I revel in that joy,

and Feel the triumph

That overflows in my heart

Right now

 

 

I think this is the first time I write a happy poem! lol

…….HEAVENS CAME DOWN AND GLORY SHOWN AROUND….

 

Don’t worry about that…I am just singing one of  my favourite Christian hymns ever.

 

Vacation Bible School (VBS) at my church has been a lot of fun for the past two days. Rency and Carol where the best part about it and I love them for it. It started out boring yesterday…..but the moment the Chemmachan (Deacon) stepped in to teach, life just became a whole lot funnier. If I thought yesterday was way too much fun, I really don’t know how I would describe today. It has been…just amazing!

 

We had some song competitions today and me, Rency, Carol, Neethu and Sweety were singing a group song. We sang ‘Amazing grace’. It was pretty good. You know what guys? I cant sing for the life of it! I must have been so annoying to Rency and Carol, I thank them for bearing with me.

 

When I came back from church, I had a call from my uncle in India. My grandpa is admitted to the ICU in a hospital. I hope you all will pray for him, he's a really nice and sweet person. Anyways, he's okay now…..just hope he’ll be okay for a long time more.

 

I didn’t realize it was Raksha Bandhan yesterday. There are way too many guys I have a crush on and way too many guys I consider brothers……I wish you all a happy, happy, happy life. Whether you are my brothers or my crushes. Hehe. (This goes out to Raja, Ram and Mohan and the guy in between and Roy and Jim and Joey especially!). special wishes to Ricky, *the guy who doesn’t like his name mentioned here* ,Aditya…hey…let me not start…way too many people……thanx a million to every single guy in my life!

 

Well, that’s it from me for today. I have church tomorrow. I think I’ll go catch some sleep.

 

p.s- I hope the guys who went to Dorney Park today had fun…!! Damn…I really wanted to come there….anyway, I DID have fun you know! lol

Have you ever wished that life were picture perfect, and every moment was a Kodak moment that can be cherished forever? I bet you did. I bet ever single person on earth did cpz really, life sucks.

 

Everyone really has a heart of gold. Really, I bet even osama bin laden does…..then what is it? What is it that makes life so miserable? What is it that makes people terrible creatures? Circumstances? Fate? What do you call it?

 

Why are some people so desperate? What makes people do things that they shouldn’t? why do we pollute when we know we shouldn’t? why do we wage wars when it kills innocent people? Why do we smoke when it kills ourselves? Why do we love when we shouldn’t? why do we interfere in other peoples affairs when its really none of our business?

 

Reading navneet’s poem made me ponder. I feel like I am that person right there, in his poems, who yearns for an answer. No, actually, I don’t wanna know the answer. Its just the questions that haunt me. If everything became perfect tomorrow morning when I wake up, I wouldn’t give a damn about the answers. I would just live my life happily ever after.

 

But then, that’s the whole point of life right? There is no ‘happily ever after’. That’s a lesson I learnt from Deesh’s  last post….that life is about the unpredictability of every moment we step into.

 

I have been reading a lot of inspiring posts, the last of which was amandeep’s. I realize that I have been a ‘c’ all my life, yearning for the other ‘c’ which would make me a perfect circle. I wanna try and be a perfect circle, and all I need is another ‘o’ to make my life ‘stable’. I know, I know, a lot of chemistry going on here. Lol

 

Anyways, I went to NYC with the fam today. A piece of good news which should have een conveyed to me about a month ago has finally been told to me. I feel happy about it. Besides that, I did some nice shopping today. I went out to play and got bored when our cricket ball got stuck in the tree.

 

I have VBS in church tomorrow and its gonna be good, hopefully. Carol and Rency are coming with me, so its obviously not gonna be boring. Besides that, life just goes on….homework remains unfinished, SAT is a month away, school is weeks away….aargh!